Character traits I want to see in a movie -

1. Someone who scored a 100 on their driving test and loves to remind people of that fact
2. Someone who, as a child, once jerked off and then held his hand over a toaster because he thought it was wrong and he needed to punish himself.
3. Someone who between the ages of 14 and 22: used a velcro wallet & had Michael Jordan's "#23" shaved into the back of his head for each of the Bulls' 6 championships with MJ